Roughly three years ago, when I wrote my last exam of the last semester at Business school in India, I remember telling myself - this is it. I'm done. I'm never going to sit in a boring classroom again. I'll never put myself through a professor's drone. I'll never willingly place myself in a situation where I question the merit of spending large sums of money on learning things that are obscure, uninteresting, and not all that useful in the real world. I'm done with this, I told myself (Don't get me wrong. I learned tremendously from my 2 years as a Business student. But I can safely say that at least 90% of it happened outside the classroom. Yes, I have quite a healthy amount of disdain for Business programs in India).
I just gave the GRE this morning. I studied on and off for it for about 2 months, and intensively for 2.5 months. When I placed an order for the prep books back in February this year, I remember thinking about what was going through my mind when I submitted my last exam of the last semester of B-school. I remember thinking how amazingly unpredictable and fickle life really is. I remember realizing that bottom-line, we really don't have all that much control over how our lives are going to shape up. What we do have control over however is doing the best we can, given certain life circumstances.
In some ways, I feel very proud of myself. The last two years have been difficult personally and the prospect of a real career in Marketing in the near future honestly is what has kept me going the last few months. But coming back to my now very firm belief about life, that I think is in essence, really out of my control - It also makes practical sense to not hinge all my hopes on 'a potential career in Marketing'. Right now, even the thought of my current plan not coming to fruition terrifies me. What then?!
Cross the bridge when you come to it, a weak voice in my head tells me. Hopefully I'll figure out 'what then' when the time comes. Until then, I have the TOEFL to give, an essay and application packet to put together, and the prospect of facing a not-so-pleasant visa officer in India. Amen!
2 comments:
Can totally understand what you going through. As strong headed girl I was, I always thought life will be exactly as I plan it. I had planned when I'll marry, what I'll be doing at each stage in life, what kind of job I will be doing, when I will have kids etc. Fortunately many things have worked as per the plan and many didn't for good. At first when things went different from my plans it used to cause me immerse agitation. I would have mood swings and throw tantrums. But after meeting my husband, one thing I can safely say I have learned from him is his favorite byline
" All plans subject to last minute changes "
And now I can't imagine how boring my life would have been if it all went according to plans. The unpredictability of life makes it interesting and a fun ride. Its like hopping on your bike in India and going on " Pagla Chakkar" , not knowing where you headed, just enjoying the ride wherever it takes you ( ofcourse remembering your way back home ) :)
I read the article and I really liked it..
Thanks for the great post..
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