Let's face it. Life as an adult is tough. While we are all grateful for our lives, and happy to have the gifted lives we have, we all go through rough days and phases in life. We're all living lives where we have to struggle with multiple forms of stress and at times, just getting through a day sane can seem like a huge accomplishment. Be it stress at the workplace, relationship troubles or just a general feeling of overwhelm that one sometimes feels when there's too much pressure to deal with.
It occurred to me the other day how badly I just wanted to call a friend and have a massive meltdown. Someone who could listen without judging. Before I realized how none of my friends really do that any more. It has become uncool to vent as an adult. You're expected to deal with your life on your own and stop expecting even close friends to offer a kind ear to hear about your struggles. Letting someone who is not party to your problems know about your stress, can be the best way of dealing with what many of us go through at times for days, at times for months at a time.
The transition to getting a job, living on your own, getting married, and having children - all indications of becoming an adult in our society - automatically convey that you are in some way emotionally self-sufficient and that your significant other is enough of an emotional support. I've heard from cousins about a major life crisis they were going through, years after they went through it with only their husbands as a support. Friends go through difficult breakups without letting anyone else know about the emotional upheaval.
Is sharing life's problems with a friend or close sibling considered a blow to one's image? Does admitting that you're having a tough time coping with your life, project one as immature? Have we as adults become so egoistic?
3 comments:
I absolutely disagree. As an adult you should definitely be able to ask for help or vent your stresses out. The difference is that it is looked poorly upon if this is done so via your temper or shutting down completely.
I'd say find one of your friends that has some time and ask them if they'd be willing to listen and help guide you towards whatever decision you need to make.
Love this post. Probably because I've been hitting the "meltdown threshold" a lot lately. I know that I'm run-down from stress and too many obligations. When it gets to be too much, I need that release valve of venting, or even going home and melting down a little on my own. And then setting aside some time to just be by myself to do my own thing (usually in the kitchen).
I don't really have any close friends that I vent to these days. My husband has learned that when I hit the panic button and just need to "get it all out there," I just need him to listen, give me a hug, and resist his urge to offer advice on how to "fix it." I just need a caring heart to listen and tell me it will pass. ;)
@Anonymous - I get what you're saying but I've been meeting more and more adults who agree with me. Somehow friendships change once you're an adult and asking for help becomes a huge deal.
@Jenn - I completely relate. Our husbands are the best men ever and sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve him :-). But having a girlfriend hear you out is a different source of comfort altogether...
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